Bleh... and strawberries

Every now and again, you run into a day that would have been better spent in bed, possibly with the covers over your head, ignoring the world. For me, today is one of those days. Luckily, I have a bit of support on the side that is helping me keep going, since as much as I might want, I can't hide. So, keep going I do, and wait for the funk to pass.

I guess it would qualify as a blue funk, to be specific... sort of a general malaise that weighs down the spirit a bit, without being so heavy as to push one into a truly dark mood. Had today not been a perfect San Diego day - blue skies, sun, summer hot without being oppressive - who knows where I would have ended up. But, that is best left for another time, another blog.

A couple good things - at the moment I feel someone very near to me who will help me through this little funk. Though we've only recently met, there's just something... and, I've gotten to enjoy one of summer's little treats - fresh strawberry pie. Honestly, how can life be bad, when you have strawberry pie? So, tonight, I'll lose myself in the game - let one of my characters loose to spread havoc and mayhem in a galaxy far far away, and then rest. Tomorrow is another day.

Today's lesson - brought to you forcibly by Life seems to be this - Perspective is the one thing that lets us choose how we feel about any situation that we are faced with. It's all in how you look at it. I guess, for me, I will always be a strawberry pie kind of girl - nothing is that bad, when faced with a piece of fresh made pie. *lifts her fork* Care for a bite?

And another thing...

The game I play, SWG, is good fun. It's called a MMORPG, or massively multi-player online role-playing game. The best thing about it, to me, is the different folks I've gotten to meet since I've been playing, well over a year now. As I play with my beloved, most of my characters are also married to him, but not all of them. Which, whether we expect it to or not, seems to be a bit upsetting to at least one of us in the house.

As I was never into these sort of video games before I met my husband, one might expect it to be me. He has more experience with role-playing, knows the ins and out, whereas I was a total virgin in the MMORPG world. But, being true to my secret desire to be an actress, I've taken to it like a fish to water. I love the pretending, and all that comes with it. In there, it's not really me, but some version of me that is allowed to do things, and be things, that aren't always feasible out here in the real world. ,The beloved is... himself. Just a slightly different version of himself. And therein seems to lie the problem. Luckily, I have found, and snagged, a smart man who is actually willing to tell me when things are bothering him, rather than just acting out with no explanation, and expecting me to know what's wrong. Admittedly, he does still act out a bit, but when I ask why, he will tell me. So, when after some hemming and hawing, he says that he doesn't like my character doing this or that, and we figure out what this or that is, then I can change my behavior accordingly.

My wondering is this... how is it that one person can look at a pretend world and play it like it's pretend, while another person can look at a pretend world and play it like it's real? I mean, as much as it's fun and all, I have no secret desire to find any of the folks I play with and do naughty things with them. No matter what goes on in the game.

Well, ok... maybe one or two of them... but I SWEAR, I'm never EVER following through on those random thoughts. :D And since I never swear, you know I'm serious.

Now, that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to meet them, hang out a while, and see what the operator behind the character I know in-game is like. I like to do that... especially since I've managed to meet folks from a good number of different countries that I would like to visit someday. There are folks that I consider friends in there, that I enjoy seeing every day, and that would be missed if they were to leave the game. Those are the ones I would love to meet. They also know my beloved... and are respectful of the relationship, and real life in general.

What does any of this have to do with anything whatsoever? Not a flippin' thing... but I just wanted to tell those folks (you know who you are) that I LOVE YOU!!! *laughs softly* Because that's the kind of girl I am...

If you learn nothing else about me, know this... I'm quick to accept and love, slow to anger, and I never forget. Does that matter? It all depends on your motives.

The Days Pass...

Considering what I tend to do on weekends... sleep later, tease the dog, tease the beloved, play SWG... you would think I could fill columns of blog. But no, not this one... I would rather snatch a few minutes on my lunch hour, than sit and give it a go at the weekend. But, it's my blog, and I'll write when I want to. :p

A slow start to a regular week, though it does have some importance to it... it is the week before I head out on my wild, carefree, girls-driving-cross-country weekend with Caprice. She, the best friend of prior ramblings, is already in Washington, enjoying her time off. I was treated to a brief rundown of the travels up there, which all in all sounded good, except for the small incident of her battery dying on the ferry to the island. I ask you... gentle reader... is it really to hard for someone to think on their own, be a good Samaritan, and help out another person and her daughter as they travel? Obviously, for the ferryfolk in WA state, yes. They had jobs to do, and they did their jobs. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course, the fact that one of our jobs on this planet is to try and make it at least a bit hospitable for those in our midst, and those to come, was overlooked. They summarily pushed her off the ferry, and departed. 'We have a job to do.' Had it been the middle of the day, with cars back and forth, and schedules to be kept, it might be a bit more understandable that they couldn't really take the time, delay the ferry, and jump a stranded motorist and her child. But, it wasn't. If she had been rude, demanding, or generally curmudgeonlike, I could see not wanting to help, out of sheer spite. But, she wasn't. *sighs* And then they wonder why people aren't more friendly? 'nuff said. An unfortunate lesson learned - Hope for the kindness of strangers... depend on yourself. If disappointment comes... at least you know where it comes from.

As I wait, impatiently I might add, for the trip, I also wait to hear if finally I may have a full time job. Not being as patient as I should be, I figure this whole little adventure of being without a good job for the past 18 months was supposed to be some kind of test. If so, I have failed. Completely, miserably, and unapologetically. Though I do keep trying, keep working on doing the right things, wearing the right suits, keeping my resume dusted off... Perhaps I try too much. So, I have taken a different tact with this most recent position... I'm very good at what I do, and continue to be so, but I have decided that being a slave to the position hasn't helped at all. I've decided to relax, do my job to the best of my ability, and mold the position to me. I've spent too much time trying to be what they wanted, and it hasn't worked. In doing so, I've stressed myself out, stressed out my beloved, and irritated Cap to no end. Enough of that. I am now declaring it... all about me. Within reason. *grins*

If only I could get the beloved working, it would ease some of the other stress in my life. But... that is for another blog, another day.

As is the way with life, another lesson: The people you meet in life can either make you or break you, if you let them. You can see what they offer, accept or not, and continue on your way. Just remember... you offer the same things to someone else.

We begin again

As I head into the afternoon, looking forward to the end of work and the beginning of a bit of uninterrupted rest, things look forward, rather than stagnant. How so? Well - the beloved, my darling other half whom I love dearly but occasionally wish to strangle for various and sundry wrongs imagined and real, may be stepping back up to the plate, so to speak, and becoming gainfully employed. Lest I count the unhatched chicks, it is merely an interview, but at least it's a start. Then - after a few months of working at my current assignment, there is finally a possibility that I may get a permanent position here. Again, to avoid getting egg on my face, nothing is settled yet. But at least there is movement, and possibly in the right direction. Also - we are within sight of the end of the month trip that I am very much looking forward to...

Ooh, and speaking of that, yesterday a magnificent road atlas arrived at my house. Dropped off by an inattentive delivery person who left it at my back door, spied by my overly atentive neighbor who brought it to my front door. It's a glorious work of art, this atlas, and I think I may have to fight Caprice for it once she gets her mitts on it. The colors, the roads, the maps... heaven in a spiral bound form to easily lay flat. Really, with me, it's the little things. A nibble on my neck, an ice-cold soda, a perfect chocolate chip cookie, and a brand new road atlas with which to plan an amusing little jaunt with my best friend.

What have we learned thus far today? Real happiness doesn't require loads of cash or high status or the admirings of folks you don't know. Real happiness is found in the little things... a green light when you're in a hurry, getting the last Coke at the store, all nice and cold from sitting in the fridge, being able to plan big for a little trip with your best friend. Remember, it's all in the perspective. :D

A simple wish...

I wish... I had mistakenly woken up two hours earlier than I needed, so I could go back to bed. zzzzzz...

Another Day in Paradise...

For a girl from the Midwest, I really can't get enough of San Diego weather. Of the 365 days in a standard year, I would say 300 of them are just about like this. Maybe a slight difference in temperature, but so what? When you're used to winter, summer, winter and winter, what does a few degrees from 75 to 80 matter?

Anyway, Paradise being what it is, there are always a few sand fleas that must be contended with. Today's fleas... the friendly neighborhood dentist. *sighs* My dentist is a nice guy. His hands shake when he's around me, which I think is a healthy sign of respect for having to stick his fingers in a mouth full of teeth. And yet he keeps working to help maintain the great smile I have. Wisdom or folly, I'm not sure. After a foolish decision on my part a few years ago, I was in today repairing that poor decision, and getting some new teeth. Nothing says 'maturity' like a partial plate, I tell ya. Boy, does it feel funny, though. This hunk of plastic and porcelain, and metal, that sits there like a constant reminder to brush and floss religiously, lest I get to the point of all my teeth in a glash. *shudders* In the plate's defense, it does have its own little home, a spiffy blue covered dish, and doesn't require any more maintenance that the other not quite pearly whites that I have. It just... feels funny. And when it's in, I talk funny. Imagine you're on the phone with a mouth full of taffy or caramels. That's what I sound like. Now if only the plate were flavored... mmm, caramel dentures. I think I'm on to something... :D

The lesson for today - You can replace a lot of things. Fake breasts, fake hair, fake nails, fake teeth. But the equipment God gave you to start with, is what you ought to try and hang onto. Believe me, the alternative is never better than the real thing.

Lunch...

You have to love lunchtime. I do. Not so much for eating, though that is an often-enjoyed pasttime. But just the break in the day... read, surf, pretend to shop, the freedom is there, for you to choose. I will admit to a slight extension of my lunchbreak, as I've spent time exchanging amusing messages with my best friend. We'll call her Caprice, to protect the not-so-innocent. *grins wickedly* Caprice and I are planning a little jaunt at the end of the month, and as the day gets closer when I meet her to begin the drive home, I just get more impatient.

Now, in spite of what all who know me say, I really don't have all the patience in the world. I just fake it really well. I have some, but not that much. And it becomes most obvious when I'm looking forward to doing something, or going somewhere. Such as this trip. Cap and I are driving home from Washington State to San Diego over the last weekend in July. Now, you take two women, who've been friends since before there was unleaded gas (just joking, not quite that long. Slightly before the Internet became a reality, is a bit more accurate. But only a bit.), drop them in a luxury vehicle that comes with its own GPS mappy thingy to ensure we get lost in style, and point them south, and what do you get? hehehe, your guess is as good as mine, but I'll let you know what happens once we're back. :p However, we will be armed with money, a digital camera, a spiffy new road atlas, our endless style, panache and brazen balls, and a skinny terrier-type dog. I predict mayhem with class, accompanied by endless poop stops for the beastie. I'm hoping to pick up an ostrich egg, too.

Honestly now, does summer get any better than that? I didn't think so...

A new day... and the rabbits are happy

Even though it's been explained a few times to me, the idea of rabbits being sacrificed to determine a woman's fertileness seems... a bit brutal. Why do they have to part with their lives to determine if the events of a hot evening of intimacy were... successful, shall we say? I feel for the bunnies. And thus am glad for the more humane, if slightly ridiculous methods now available. At least they are fairly accurate, without adding the cost of a bunny's life to the toll.

This time, as it has been for a while now, the stick said -. It's good, and yet... there is still a faint bit of sadness. But, in the end, it is as it should be. And allows for more... mmm... practice.

*grins saucily*

Another day begins...

Is it just me, or is it always this hard to get up in the mornings? Somehow it seemed easier to get up when I had no job, and no reason to rise, except my husband's heading to work at 6 each morning. Now, I can barely convince myself to get up and out of the house before 8. A slight problem, since I should be at work by then. mmm... maybe it's the job...

Movies and Life

I love movies. Drama, adventure, romance, action, even a good horror now and again that has me begging for my mommy and my teddy. I love them all.

Right now, I'm watching Gladiator, for what has to be the umpteenth time. I think it's a great movie. Not so much because of Russell Crowe, I'm not that much of a fan. But the whole Roman thing, the idea of one who was great becoming low, then rising to greatness again. And, of course, the bevies of half-naked, glistening men fighting with swords and other weapons of singular destruction. What girl can't appreciate that?

One of the other things I like is the quotes. Gladiator has some good ones. There are other movies as well, but since I'm watching this one, it's all I remember at the moment. One of my favorites - as the Emperor mounts his horse, and his age shows, Maximus assists him. He looks at him and says "So much for the glory of Rome." I think of that quite a bit as I read the daily papers, and listen to the news about things going on here in San Diego, in California, in the rest of the country, and the world. So much for the glory of Rome...

Lovely day...

It's a lovely day here. Sun is out, sky is perfect blue, honestly, the kind of day that inspires all sorts of poetry and wonderful happy thoughts. :D In honor of that - life is a wonderful dream, from which I have no desire to wake, until such time as the next level beckons. But not yet...

Oh happy day, redux!

Friday arrives, and with it a chance to relax a bit, and play what has become my favorite game - Star Wars Galaxies. I love this game. The hanging out, getting to kill stuff with little consequence, collecting weapons, flying through space... all ingredients for a perfect waste of time. And I'm all about wasting as much time as I can in that game. *snickers*

So, what have we learned thus far today? Patience must be consistently practiced, otherwise it's just lip service. Patience with one's job, one's beloved, even one's wonderful weiner dog. The consistent practice of patience would, in many ways, solve more problems than we know. If only one has the patience.

If not, one ends up twitchy and prone to nervous baldness, just like my wonderful weiner dog. :D

Oh happy day!

Friday arrives, and with it a chance to relax a bit, and play what has become my favorite game - Star Wars Galazies. I love this game. The hanging out, getting to kill stuff with little consequence, collecting weapons, flying through space... all ingredients for a perfect waste of time. And I'm all about wasting as much time as I can in that game. *snickers*

So, what have we learned thus far today? Patience must be consistently practiced, otherwise it's just lip service. Patience with one's job, one's beloved, even one's wonderful weiner dog. The consistent practice of patience would, in many ways, solve more problems than we know. If only one has the patience.

If not, one ends up twitchy and prone to nervous baldness, just like my wonderful weiner dog. :D

End of the day...

Another long day done. What has been learned? When you expect one thing to happen, it's almost a given that something else will occur instead. For better or worse is all in how you view it.

Sound cheesy? Well, pull up a glass of merlot and some crackers. There's plenty more where that came from.

:p

Sleep, perchance to dream... lovely blue dreams...

Once upon a time, there lived a tatooed princess, and her handsome prince... forever wrapped in a gossamer web... 

Give me a moment...

Sometimes just waking up is a victory all its own.