Where to begin?

So much has happened since I last wrote, I'm not even sure where to start. I'll see if I can find the beginning, and go from there. :D

Being a true bleu girl, with all that entails, gives me the advantage of seeing things from different angles. At least, I like to think so, and when I remember to look at them accordingly, life is very good. Even if it doesn't always look that way. Case in point - the beloved and I. I have done a small bit of ranting on our married life, venting my frustrations on the seemingly unending situation of his lack of finding a stable job as I work and support us, and our raging gaming habits. And a ravenously hungry dachschund. This when my own body is demanding I don't, in fairly insistent tones. But, I digress. That too, is for another time, another blog. My frustration with this situation has caused its share of dissension, though it never seemed to affect anything for more than a day or two. Adding another layer to the tale.

Well, it seems of late, that my legendary patience has all but been used up with the beloved and our life. Thoughts filled my head of options, none of them very pleasant, but all of them pointing at the problems that needed to be resolved. After the apparent failure of yet another of our discussions on how to deal with things, I had pretty much had enough. Now, gentle reader, lest you think I resorted to screaming or hair-pulling, let me set your mind at ease. That is not how I resolve anything. I, as generations of true bleu women before, and after, have and will do, began a sulk of such immense proportions, it has yet to be matched.

Yes, I'm quite good at sulking. It's a badge of honor, and also saves me from histrionics most of the time. And, it's effective. Is it a game? No, I never fake-sulk. That takes away from the importance of it when it does happen. Children fake-sulk all the time. As a grown woman, who has won her adulthood the hard way, I know the difference. So, the sulk began. It stretched far and wide, encompassing pretty much everything, until it crashed onto the shores of Denmark. Why Denmark? Because.

During this sulk, I heard from more than a few folks, with support and good ideas, all of which are greatly appreciated, and all of which helped when it was time to end the sulk. What brought about the end? A small, red dog. Well, that and the mistaken reading of something I wrote to someone very precious to me. The beloved stumbled across it, and I really can't be happier that he did. Obviously, in some way, I had managed to be too subtle about my anger and upset over the state of our union. In telling things to my precious one, I was blunt, venting without thought of filtering in any way. Which, in an aside, has let me know that sometimes it's better to be blunt, than to try and be gentle. Anyway, the beloved found our conversation, and it seems to have shocked him to the core. I can't say I'm upset, really, as the results have been truly amazing.

No, don't even think that I will descend into the 'roses and rainbows' happy ending. What I mean is... in the beloved's reading of how I felt about our situation, in plain language, he realized that I wasn't as happy as he seemed to be with things. We spent that weekend discussing the real issues, and since then, he has been more willing to get to the heart of problems, versus just glossing over everything. As well, he has begun taking steps in other areas... and I can only say that each step he takes makes me just a little bit more confident that things are as they were meant to be when we first started out... There is still much to do, but now I am able to see the light, much brighter than before.

Of course, that is not the only thing happening in my life. However, as the most important, it bears first mention. But, there is always more. :D

Now, perhaps a few of you, ok maybe just one of you, are wondering what Denmark has to do with anything. Just this... the precious one lives there. There is much more to that story, believe me. For now, I say this. It's definitely an interesting life, little twists and turns, and the people along the way, that make it amazingly wonderful. I am most glad that I got the interesting life, even when it's a bit... hard... to explain to others. All I know is, as life continues, and we grow, we realize that there's really so much more to be discovered, if we are willing to be open to it. As long as we maintain our sights on what's truly important, then we can experience all of it without getting lost.

So, is there an end? Not even close. But, if it did come now, I could accept it, with this knowledge: I am still madly in love with my beloved one. Because of that, I can say this: E - I am in love with you. And, because of that, I can say this: I can take the bad, because I have so much good to counter-act it. Lest I become maudlin, of course there is so much more, but I'll stop with those two, for now.

What's next? *laughs softly* Who knows... just stay tuned... you know you want to.