A New Day -
Well, it's been a bit. I haven't forgotten that I have a story to finish, but much has happened.
I've moved into a new position, working for a restaurant group here in Southern California, Pat & Oscar's, very tasty food designed to go straight to my hips. *grins* But, that won't stop me from eating it almost every chance I get. So far, the folks have all been wonderful, and I'm very glad to be here. This part of my life is pretty much wonderful.
Another part of my life is a bit less shiny, and that is worrying me. Now, don't get me wrong. I knew, going in, that marriage wasn't always perfect. I've seen my share, good and bad, and I understand that all marriages have their good and bad. So this is not a surprise. I guess, what is a surprise to me, is that my beloved doesn't see the problem that I do with our current situation. So... am I just seeing things? I don't believe so. Marriage is best as a partnership. Those are never perfect. I know this. But, in any partnership, if one partner isn't doing their part... it's better that they leave.
How does that translate to marriage? I don't know. All I know is I want to be able to respect my husband, as well as love him, and like him. Yes, I want it all. In one man. Why? Because I believe it's possible, or else marriage as an institution would truly have died a very very long time ago. Is that really too much to ask? Does it put too much pressure on one person? Maybe it does. But I don't think I believe that. Should I have just not gotten married? I don't think that either. There is still more positive than negative, even though this is trying to creep into every aspect of my life at the moment.
In the meantime, I have the one I love, who I'm married to, and the one I love, and respect, who I'm not married to, and I'm seriously considering bigamy. I just have a feeling that would be even more work, and I'm just not up for it right now. :-/
I've moved into a new position, working for a restaurant group here in Southern California, Pat & Oscar's, very tasty food designed to go straight to my hips. *grins* But, that won't stop me from eating it almost every chance I get. So far, the folks have all been wonderful, and I'm very glad to be here. This part of my life is pretty much wonderful.
Another part of my life is a bit less shiny, and that is worrying me. Now, don't get me wrong. I knew, going in, that marriage wasn't always perfect. I've seen my share, good and bad, and I understand that all marriages have their good and bad. So this is not a surprise. I guess, what is a surprise to me, is that my beloved doesn't see the problem that I do with our current situation. So... am I just seeing things? I don't believe so. Marriage is best as a partnership. Those are never perfect. I know this. But, in any partnership, if one partner isn't doing their part... it's better that they leave.
How does that translate to marriage? I don't know. All I know is I want to be able to respect my husband, as well as love him, and like him. Yes, I want it all. In one man. Why? Because I believe it's possible, or else marriage as an institution would truly have died a very very long time ago. Is that really too much to ask? Does it put too much pressure on one person? Maybe it does. But I don't think I believe that. Should I have just not gotten married? I don't think that either. There is still more positive than negative, even though this is trying to creep into every aspect of my life at the moment.
In the meantime, I have the one I love, who I'm married to, and the one I love, and respect, who I'm not married to, and I'm seriously considering bigamy. I just have a feeling that would be even more work, and I'm just not up for it right now. :-/
posted by AvianaBleu at 9:18 AM
1 Comments:
Perhaps the one you respect will eventually become unrespected as well? Perhaps it is "too much pressure on one person" - but then again a partnership is about "mutual load sharing" -- you share not only your own load but the other's also: A's load and B's load combine into one Shared load. That would be the difference between a partnership and a collaboration, no?
Observation: at this point there is the "issue" (whatever it is that you see and your partner doesn't) and there is the "meta-issue" (that your partner and you do not see *together*). Perhaps it would be worth it to approach your partner about the meta-issue? Sometimes I let things be an issue simply because my wife sees them as an issue. That is enough for me to enter the issue with her, because it is HER.
Maybe?
David in Phoenix
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