A New Day -

Well, it's been a bit. I haven't forgotten that I have a story to finish, but much has happened.

I've moved into a new position, working for a restaurant group here in Southern California, Pat & Oscar's, very tasty food designed to go straight to my hips. *grins* But, that won't stop me from eating it almost every chance I get. So far, the folks have all been wonderful, and I'm very glad to be here. This part of my life is pretty much wonderful.

Another part of my life is a bit less shiny, and that is worrying me. Now, don't get me wrong. I knew, going in, that marriage wasn't always perfect. I've seen my share, good and bad, and I understand that all marriages have their good and bad. So this is not a surprise. I guess, what is a surprise to me, is that my beloved doesn't see the problem that I do with our current situation. So... am I just seeing things? I don't believe so. Marriage is best as a partnership. Those are never perfect. I know this. But, in any partnership, if one partner isn't doing their part... it's better that they leave.

How does that translate to marriage? I don't know. All I know is I want to be able to respect my husband, as well as love him, and like him. Yes, I want it all. In one man. Why? Because I believe it's possible, or else marriage as an institution would truly have died a very very long time ago. Is that really too much to ask? Does it put too much pressure on one person? Maybe it does. But I don't think I believe that. Should I have just not gotten married? I don't think that either. There is still more positive than negative, even though this is trying to creep into every aspect of my life at the moment.

In the meantime, I have the one I love, who I'm married to, and the one I love, and respect, who I'm not married to, and I'm seriously considering bigamy. I just have a feeling that would be even more work, and I'm just not up for it right now. :-/